Reasons A Car Insurer Is Probably A Vampire | Davis Firm, LLC

29 Oct 2019

By Davis Firm, LLC

In Car Accidents

If it feels like your car insurer is a vampire, there’s a good reason why.

It’s probably true.

In all likelihood, your car insurer IS a vampire. It’s just the balance of probabilities.

We don’t mean your friendly, local agent. We’re talking about the people at corporate, and the claim handlers you’re forced to deal with.

“They’re worse than Dracula,” says our experienced attorney and former insurance ‘insider’, Scott N. Davis.

In this short article, Scott explains the 6 reasons why your car insurance company is run and staffed by vampires – and how to avoid the horror of their deadly, blood-sucking fangs.

1. You never see them in daylight.

You might be able to talk to your car insurer during daylight hours, but when was the last time you actually SAW them in daylight?

Sure, you’ll get a daytime visit from a car insurance claims adjuster, but they’re actually independent contractors – they are NOT employed by your insurance company.

2. An encounter with your insurer makes you feel light-headed

When you get off the phone with the claims department at your car insurer, your head feels fuzzy. Ever notice that?

You feel light-headed, a little dizzy and somewhat off your equilibrium.

It feels like you’re not running on a full tank of juice.

And why? Because they just sucked some of your blood. That’s why.

3. Every employee of your insurer, pictured on their website, looks exactly like Christopher Lee

When you watched Christopher Lee played Count Dracula in all those movies, it sent a shiver down your spine. He was scary.

And all those employees working in corporate for your car insurer at  look just like Christopher Lee. Look at their website and see their pictures, and once again, you’ll feel that shiver running down your spine.


4. They Avoid Garlic Like The Plague

If you’ve ever had to eat with an employee of an insurance company – something I’ve had to do as a former ‘insider’ – you’ll notice how bland their food is. They’re not big on seasoning, and they absolutely detest garlic.

You’ll never get a decent Italian meal from an insurance company.

5. No Mirrors

It’s not that they’re so incredibly ugly that they can’t bear to see themselves. It’s because they cast no reflection that you’ll never see your insurer anywhere near a mirror.

The problem is so severe, they’ve even removed all the mirror from their own vehicles. And somehow they’re driving in them.

6. Wooden Stakes

We don’t advocate violence at all, but when you’re dealing with the insurance companies, you do sometimes feel like having a wooden stake close to hand would be incredibly useful. As a stress toy. Obviously.

Protect Yourself From Insurance Vampires

While we’re making a lighthearted joke about insurance companies for Halloween, the truth is that dealing with the insurers and their claims departments really can be a headache.

If you need to file an accident claim, the services of a seasoned law firm like ours, with years of ‘insurance insider’ experience, can make the whole experience much less painful for you.

We’ll protect you from insurance vampires

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